Helicopter Mom

I don't generally think of myself as a "helicopter mom" (one who hovers over her children 24/7), but I am protective of my girls, so others might think of me as one. Yes, I make them sit in the back seat and buckle up. Yes, I make them wear helmets when riding their bikes or scooters. No, I won't yet let them cross the street without supervision. Hey, just the fact that I have chosen to homeschool my kids might make some people think I am overprotective.

When we go to the park, I don't hover over them, but I do try to keep a watchful eye. I can't yet imagine allowing them to go to the park by themselves. I walked about 7 blocks to school everyday when I was H's age, but I can't imagine letting her walk to school alone right now. We live in a different world than when I was growing up. Though there surely were "scary" people back then, it seems like there are more now, or maybe we are just more aware (or I'm just paranoid!).

There is a little girl who lives down the block and across the street from us. She is G's age, 5 years old. We had noticed her riding her bike up and down the sidewalk on her side of the street, and she would occasionally stop right across the street from our house and watch our girls play in our front yard. "Mommy, there's a little girl over there! Can she come and play with us?" We walked across the street to talk to her (she was shy and didn't say much), and then walked down the street to her house to ask her parents if she could come over and play. They said that she had been talking about "the bunch of girls across the street" and wanting to play with them, but that when you are 5 years old, across the street might as well be across the world because you aren't allowed to go there! So true these days! My girls have the same rules, they can ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk on our side of the street, so I understood. But now that I have introduced myself, the little girl's parents let her come across the street whenever they see our girls outside, and all the girls happily ride their bikes and scooters up and down the sidewalk (I had to apologize to some older neighbors who almost got run over by little girls while trying to get their mail!).

Are you a helicopter mom? How have you loosened the reins and given your kids more independence? What age do you think is appropriate for crossing the street alone or going to the park alone? Please leave a comment, I really want to know!

Evenflo and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post and talk about what child safety means to me and my family. Evenflo has just released the Momentum 65 DLX Convertible Car Seat, with features that help make safety, installation and use as easy as possible for parents.

Mommy Me Time

Being a stay-at-home parent is not an easy job. It is very rewarding, but it can be draining both emotionally and physically as well. It's important to make "me time" sometime during the day to recharge. For me, this is afternoon naptime.

Not all of my girls still nap every day, but they all go upstairs for "quiet reading time". I turn on a CD with soothing music and they all choose a pile of books (or for H and G, a chapter book), and they are expected to stay in their beds until the music is finished (about an hour). When the music stops, they are allowed to come down. This usually allows me an hour of quiet time to myself. I can read the Bible or a book, catch up on email or blog, make a phone call, get a chore done, or any other of a number of things. As long as I can do it by myself, without interruptions, I'll be a happier mommy when the hour is over!

With the addition of a new baby to the family, we're still trying to get into our new groove, but I know we'll be on-track soon. Everyone is more likely to be crabby if we miss afternoon nap. It is important, both for the kids and for me!

Sprint and JuiceBoxJungle have sponsored me to write about what "ten minutes" a day means to me. Sprint has just launched Gaming on the Now Network™, bringing you the first wireless 4G network from a national carrier.

I Wish I'd Caught That!

If you are a parent, chances are you've uttered the words, "Oh where is my camera when I need it?" more than once. Your child is in the middle of doing something cute or goofy or gross, and you stand there wishing you had the camera permanently attached to your hand, knowing that this moment will pass before you can get the camera, turn it on, and start shooting. Sound familiar?

We keep our digital camera on the kitchen counter so it is usually pretty accessible, but there have been plenty of moments lost forever because all spontaneity flies out the window the minute we reach for the camera.

One time in particular I WISH I had reached for the camera was when H was a newborn. Ted and I were up in our bedroom on the bed playing with her, spending some quality time becoming more familiar with our new family. Ted was lying on his back on the bed when he lifted H up in the air above him. He was looking at her adoringly, cooing. She promptly spit up. A LOT. All over his FACE, glasses and all! To be honest, I cracked up laughing! I remember having an internal struggle right then--do I run downstairs for the camera, or do I help clean up my poor husband, who has baby spit up ALL over his face?!? A true dilemma! I decided to help him clean up (through my giggles and apologies). I honestly wish I had run down to get the camera and asked for forgiveness later. :-) Now it is only a memory that we hopefully can retell enough to keep it fresh in our minds.

If you do have your camera permanently attached to your hand and have been able to capture some precious moments, I heard about Mamarazzi Monday from Kim at Mom Tried It.

Canon and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post, and talk about what shooting video means to my family. Canon has released the PowerShot SX210 IS, which combines the ability to take great photos and also shoot high definition video. It would be nice to have one of these, but our Canon A630 is still going strong!

Cupcake Faith

Hyundai, Glamour Magazine, and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post about a poignant parenting moment that could possibly be put to the big screen by an A-list Hollywood star, like this short film Kate Hudson did. You can enter the contest, too by clicking here.

Have you ever dreamed of having part of your life portrayed on the big-screen? Honestly, I don't think I have. I don't feel like I have stories dramatic enough--and maybe that's a good thing! The life of a stay-at-home mom doesn't feel very glamorous most days, and that's okay. But there probably are parenting moments in all of our lives that might be funny enough or touching enough to be worth a short film.

One poignant moment that came to mind was H's third birthday. We made cupcakes that day to celebrate, and she was helping me decorate them. She suddenly looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I want to share my birthday cupcakes with the poor." To be completely honest, it felt almost like I'd been hit in the stomach. I tried to overcome my surprise, and after a brief pause, I tried to say that while it was a nice thought, I just didn't think it would be possible. I came up with all sorts of lame excuses in my mind--how uncomfortable would that be? I don't personally know any poor people. There aren't even that many cupcakes, just one batch--not nearly enough to share with a whole shelter. Plus, these were homemade cupcakes and who would take them not knowing what was in them? (from the teacher in me, where school treats were supposed to be store-bought). "Oh. Okay," she responded, and she let it go. But God didn't.

As we continued frosting the cupcakes, the pit in my stomach grew bigger and bigger. I realized I had responded selfishly. What was I trying to teach my daughter? She had been learning at church that we should share with the poor, and was trying in her three-year-old way to make that a reality. She was trying to live out her faith, and at the first opportunity, here I was, standing in the way of her sweet, growing spirit. I said I wanted to cultivate a life of generosity in our family, but was I going to walk the talk? Even if it was uncomfortable or embarrassing?

We finished decorating and she went off to lick and wash the frosting off her hands. I sighed. I almost started crying. I took a deep breath. I got out the phone book and called our local homeless shelter. I feebly tried to explain the situation to the receptionist who answered.

"Hi, um. . . it's my daughter's third birthday, and we just finished making a batch of homemade cupcakes. She had the idea that she'd like to share some of them with someone less fortunate. We only have an extra dozen or so, but could we maybe drop them off to brighten someone's day?"

"Sure, come on over!" she replied with enthusiasm. I again asked if it was okay that they were homemade, and she said no problem. Okay, I thought. Now I have no excuses. I took a deep breath again and called H over.

I sat down on the kitchen chair and pulled her up onto my lap. I said, "remember you had the idea to share your birthday cupcakes with the poor? Well, I called the homeless shelter and they said we could bring them over. Would you still like to do that?"

She brightened immediately, "Oh yes! Do you think they will like them? Do you think they will help someone who is sad feel a little better?"

"I'm sure they will, honey, and I'm so proud of you for being willing to share. I'm sorry I said no at first."

H and I drove over to drop off the cupcakes that afternoon, and something changed in me. Almost four years later, she probably doesn't even remember this story, but I don't think I will ever forget it. There's nothing like being humbled by your child's generosity; having it come smashing into your own heart of selfishness and pride. Something as simple as cupcakes, child-like faith, and obedience can change your heart if you let it.

Nurse Mom

Similasan and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post, and they asked me to talk about the things I've missed because of kid illnesses, and to mention their contest.
It's great being a mom when life is all smiles and laughter, but what about when they are sick? Someone has to play nurse, and usually stay-at-home moms are it. I love being a stay-at-home mom, but there have been numerous times I've been bummed out about having to stay home with sick kids, like when I've had to miss Women's Bible Study, MOPS, our couple's small group, playdates, or church due to someone's illness. You know you need to keep your kids home, but it's hard to give up some adult time away or time for spiritual growth to stay home and wipe noses or clean up throw-up. Ted has taken his turn missing out on things, too, (like small group or church--or even work if I am the one who is sick!) so I'm not shouldering the "nurse" role alone. It's nice to be able to catch the sermon online during the week if we missed it, but the biggest way to handle the disappointment is just realizing that this is our primary job, a job we've been blessed with by the Lord, and when we are caring for a sick child (or spouse!), we are showing God's love to them.

It's always great when a child is healthy again and is back to running in circles! Then you just hope your next child doesn't get it. :-) Similasan and Shutterfly are running a contest for a $500 gift card. All you have to do to enter is go here and upload pictures of your adorable, smiling children (not when they are sick)! You can enter as many photos as you like between now and March 28. You can also print a coupon for $1 off a Similasan product.

Life and Cell Phones

Verizon and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post about parenthood and smart phones.
This is my cell phone. I'm not joking, it really is mine and I still have it! Okay, I no longer use it--my kids play with it and friends ask about it when they come over for playdates. But I really am behind in the techie/cell phone world. I use discarded cell phones from my brother and dad when they upgrade, which is the only time I get an upgrade. I don't have a smart phone, and even if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it. The only features I use on my cell phone are voice dialing and speakerphone. My current phone can take pictures, but I don't use it because I don't have a clue as to how to get them off of there. I've never sent a text message and honestly don't understand how people can type on such small keys!

Cell phones have come a long way, and I know a lot of people who have smart phones. A lot of them probably would have a hard time adjusting to life without them now, especially since they can access their calendar and email and everything (I don't even know what all!). I even know some people who blog from their cell phones, pictures and all! It blows my mind! So would a smart phone help me?

I honestly don't know when I would use it. I like having a cell phone to talk to our families and friends long-distance, and for babysitters to be able to get a hold of us, or for emergencies in the car. I'm not on Twitter and I don't think I'm spontaneous enought to blog from a cell phone. Would it help me to be more organized (and less cluttered)? Probably not. So would it be worth the extra monthly expense? Not for me.

But what about you? Has your smart phone become an extension of your hand and changed your life? In what ways? How do you use it to simplify your life or help with your "mommy brain"? Does it help you remember appointments, keep track of your finances, or entertain your kids in a pinch? What is your favorite cell phone feature? I'm just curious! :-)

Printing Coupons--Does it Save Money?

If you've been around for any amount of time, you know I am ALL about internet printable coupons! :-) I post Kroger and Roundy's printable coupon matches each week, as well as other great high-value printable coupons that I find that I think you might be interested in.

Because I print and use so many coupons each week, I've often wondered how much I am spending on printing costs. Several years ago, we bought a cheap Lexmark printer at Walmart. It has served us well, but we later learned that a cheap printer does NOT mean cheap printer cartridge refills. One replacement cartridge would cost about $32 on sale at Target! Once I started printing a lot more (coupons, worksheets, etc), this was no longer cost-effective.

So does printing coupons really save me money? YES! I've found some ways to save so that the amount of money I save using internet printable coupons far outweighs what I spend on ink. That's because the internet coupons are almost always higher value coupons, and when my store doubles them, I usually save another $1 per coupon. Those dollars add up!

Here are some tips that I use to save money on ink and paper while printing coupons:

• Change your printer's default settings to print in black and white, on the draft setting. I always print my coupons this way, and rarely have a problem with them scanning as long as my cartridge alignment is correct.
• Refill the cartridges at Walgreens. Walgreens often has cartridge refills on sale for $10 each, so I save my empty cartridges and take them all to be filled when there is a sale. Hopefully I have some RRs to use on those weeks! ;-)
• Use the back sides of papers. If I get some junk mail or papers sent home that don't have important information on the back, they go straight to my printer to be made into coupons!
• Ask for a ream of paper or refill cartridges for Christmas. Hey, I'm a practical person!
  
• Before buying a new printer, investigate how much the refills are. I've been trying to do this the past few months as we've been wondering if we could save even more on printing if we got a new printer. The problem is, reviews are usually mixed, and it's hard to get a straight answer about how many pages you can print with a cartridge.

The JuiceBox widget on my sidebar has an ad from Kodak right now about saving money on ink by switching. Does anyone have a Kodak printer, and do you think it saves you money on ink? It was one of the models I was looking at, since the replacement cartridges are less expensive. They have a calculator to see how much you overpay in ink here, but they didn't have my printer's model. Plus, I wasn't able to select that I really only print in black and white, and not very much in color. What I'd really like to see is how many pages of black and white coupons I could print before having to refill my cartridge for any given brand. Is that too much to ask? (well, maybe. . .)

Speaking of saving money, Kodak and JuiceBoxJungle want to know what you would do with an unexpected $100 this month. If you are on Twitter, you can finish a tweet that's been started in the widget on my sidebar. How would I spend it? Hmmm. . . the possibilities are endless! I would probably donate some and then get a babysitter so Ted and I could go out on a date, maybe some dinner and ballroom dancing! Yes, I have ballroom danced while "out-to-here" pregnant--it's probably a funny sight! :-) Other ideas could be a new winter jacket (since mine is getting a little tight around the middle, and winter isn't nearly over!), a massage, some homeschooling curriculum. . . wow, $100 isn't too hard to spend, is it? Realistically, most of it would probably go toward our mortgage payment, which we are trying to pay down "with gazelle-like intensity" (per Dave Ramsey). :-) Exciting, I know, but again, we are practical people!

What would you spend $100 on? I'd love to hear your ideas!

Kodak and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post, about what I'd do with a surprise $100 if someone handed it to me next month. It's fun to dream!

Date Nights-Do You Get Enough?

JuiceBoxJungle wants to know how often you and your spouse get out for date nights. There is a poll box on my right sidebar in the JuiceBoxJungle widget. Click your answer to see the poll results. If you're reading through an email or RSS subscription, you'll have to click through to my blog to take the poll.

I'm guessing a lot of you wish you could have more date nights with your spouse. What are your reasons for not going out more? Is it money to pay for dinner or lack of a sitter? Restaurants.com is co-sponsoring the poll and wants to help you out with discounts to restaurants. Have you used Restaurants.com before? They also have a promotion going on where you can "Feed it Forward" and give other people $10 certificates for FREE, up to 30 per day until Christmas!

I ask for gift cards to restaurants for Christmas, which helps with the food cost of dates out. Unfortunately, it's the babysitter cost that makes it hard for us to go out alone. We don't have any family in the area, and paying a babysitter for a couple of hours for 4 (soon-to-be 5!) young kids is not cheap! We already get a babysitter twice a month for our couple's small group, so adding another night gets expensive. But it's something we know is important, so we do try to go out. We aim for once a month, but it's realistically more like once every 2-3 months. One thing we've done is get a babysitter for a weekend lunch out, where we run to a nearby restaurant and are only gone for one hour, which helps to keep the cost lower.

Leave a comment below with how often you and your spouse get out for dates. What do you do to get out alone with your spouse?

Firstborns Have Higher I.Q.s?

Currently on the JuiceBoxJungle widget. . . Do you think your firstborn has a higher I.Q. than your other kids? The New York Times published a study finding that firstborns have a higher I.Q. than their siblings. Here's the article, or you can click on the appropriate frame in my JuiceBox on the right sidebar so you can read it if you are interested, and don't forget to answer the poll...do you have a sharper firstborn? Do you agree with what the Times claims...that this could be due to family dynamics; perhaps to the greater responsibility assigned to the firstborn?

Firstborns generally get more undivided time with mom and dad than subsequent children do, but I don't think this would cause them to have a lower I.Q. Since we have a larger (and growing!) family, it would be selling our kids short to say that they won't be as smart as another child, just because of when they were born. Having other siblings provides children with a wealth of experiences. It is probably true that their I.Q.s would differ in different areas, like one might be more book smart, one might be better with other people, etc. Whether this is affected by birth order might be interesting. In any case, we need to look at our children as individuals and look for the areas that God has gifted them in and develop their interests. It's fun to see your babies grow into little people with their own personalities! What do you think?

Mommy Competition

Did you notice the new and improved JuiceBoxJungle widget on my sidebar? If you subscribe through email or a reader, click over to my blog to check it out! It does more than play cute parenting videos. Now you can interact with Facebook, "tweet" cards (through Twitter), or send ecards right from my blog! I liked this one, because we all need a friend who doesn't judge us when we lose it (and you know we all do at some point!).

They also have a new sponsor, Paper Culture, a modern, eco-friendly premium stationary company that will address, message and mail your cards for free. You can get 30% off for a limited time (promo code SAVE30NOW).

The parenting video showing now is about competitive moms. I'm sure you know one or two, or maybe you are one yourself! How do you deal with them? How do you keep from being one? Where is the line between comparing notes and comparing your kids or your parenting?

We are all proud of our kids, and naturally want to brag about them now and then. But it's a good reminder to make sure we aren't making another mom feel bad. When another mom is going on to me about what their child can do or the activities she is involved in, I do feel the competitiveness (or inferiority? defensiveness?) rising up within me. I feel like I need to prove that I am a good mom, and I think this can be especially true of homeschooling moms (or at least beginner homeschooling moms--maybe I'll grow out of it?). We want to be sure our kids are smart enough and know what their peers know. I know I've been guilty of being a competitive mom before, and I'll probably slip up again in the future. But when I do, I'll try to think about what the other mom might be feeling, remember that kids develop in different areas and at a different pace, and ask her questions about her child instead.

What I do to try to combat the competitiveness in myself is to keep things simple. I hear about moms throwing spectacular birthday parties, but I don't feel the need to do that. I want my kids to feel special and have fun on their birthdays, and sometimes that can be accomplished without even having a party! H has had birthday parties, but this year she didn't have one. We had just returned from our three week vacation with my parents, so I didn't have the time or energy to whip up a party. She was content with eating out at Red Robin and camping in the backyard, which was fine with us!

The truth is, I want my kids to be content with simple things. I don't want them to be constantly asking for the latest fad. They aren't involved in a lot of activities, and I'm okay with that. My plan isn't to turn out future Olympians, it's to turn out followers of Jesus Christ. If one of them exhibits a deep desire or natural ability, we will try to encourage their God-given talents and nuture them. But I'm not planning to sign them up for every sport or class until they find a good match. That just sounds exhausting! (not to mention expensive!)

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." 1 Timothy 6:6-8

"Be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" Hebrews 13:5-6

So I'm just going to do my best and be content with myself, my kids, and our schedule. They don't have to be the smartest or the fastest or the best, because that's not what matters in the end. What matters is their heart, so that's what I'll focus on.

Off the Pacifier (or fingers)

I originally posted this in March when F was 9 months old and we were weaning her off of the paci. She is now 14 months and hasn't used a paci for several months, not even at night. She is my fourth child, and we've followed this process with all four children who either sucked on a pacifier, their fingers, or both, and it has worked like a charm. I also breastfed all four babies, and the paci didn't interfere with feedings at all.

I decided to repost this because of the new video in my JuiceBoxJungle widget that you can view by scrolling down on the right hand side (click through to my blog if you get this via email or reader). It's called "Suck On This" and talks about paci vs. thumb and when and how to wean. I was surprised that they didn't mention taking the paci away earlier rather than later. If you wean baby off the paci earlier, you obviously won't have as much of a fight on your hands than if they are two years old and in the middle of tantrum-stage. But if your two-year-old is still sucking on a pacifier, never fear, JuiceBoxJungle has some ideas for you!

How do you wean your child off the pacifier, or off of sucking their thumb or fingers?

I can tell you what has worked for us for our past three children, and what we are currently doing with F, who is 9 months old. Once we decide they are old enough and don't need to depend on the pacifier (or sucking their thumb/fingers) as much, we start to make it into a game. When they put the pacifier or their fingers in their mouth at a time they don't really need it, we pull it out and say with a smile, "you don't need that right now!" Here's what I mean:

(Sorry about my annoying baby voice!)

We usually begin the process of weaning them off of the pacifier (or their fingers) before they turn one year old. We've found that the earlier we start the process, the easier it goes. This doesn't mean that they need to be off the pacifier completely, but that they aren't using it all day and aren't dependent on it. We start the process as above, and then start limiting the pacifier to in the crib, in the carseat, and in the diaper bag (to be used by church nursery workers or in emergencies!).

Some say it's harder to break the habit of sucking on thumbs or fingers since you can't take them away. It's true that you can't take them away completely, but we had a finger-sucker and we used the above process every time we saw her fingers in her mouth. "You don't need those, no you don't! You're fine right now!" and then redirect them or distract them with a toy or something else to put in their mouth (like Cheerios). Again, the younger they are when you start this process, the easier it will go!

I am not against pacifiers in any way, in fact I was glad when F finally started taking one, but I also don't want my kids to be dependent on it for too long. Babies can benefit from sucking on something when they are younger, but I've found that the need for non-nutritive sucking seems to decrease around 9 months of age. Children need to learn how to soothe themselves eventually, and you want their mouth and teeth to develop normally, too. It also helps them to develop clearer speech when they aren't talking through a pacifier or around their fingers.

If you'd like to share a tip or have a parenting question you'd like me to try to answer (not that I'm an expert!), please leave a comment! I'll do my best to help, or maybe others can help, too!

JuiceBoxJungle Parenting Videos

Did you notice the new video player I have on my blog? If you subscribe via Google Reader or email you will have to click through to my blog to see it. It is on the right side under the labels.

I'm excited to have joined the Jungle Ad Network! JuiceBoxJungle offers parenting videos that are cute and relevant. They won't start playing automatically, so you can choose whether or not you'd like to watch it. They are only a few minutes long and are about topics I'm sure you can relate to.

After you embed their video widget on your blog's homepage (anywhere!) they will pay you for the number of page views on your blog, not by how many people actually view the videos. How do they do this? They sell advertising space on the widget and then split the profits (50%) with bloggers! Once you earn $50, they send you a check. Easy! Here's more about the Jungle Ad Network directly from them: The Jungle Ad Network is an invitation-only ad network for bloggers and sites in the parenting space. Rather than simply selling banner ads on your site, we provide you with great parenting content, having already sold the advertising for that content, and then we share the revenue with you. We like you that much.

Since the Jungle Ad Network is by invitation only, email me or leave a comment if you are interested in joining and I will forward your blog address and email address to them so you can get started! You won't get rich this way, but every little bit helps since you are blogging anyway!